In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

We all know that saying, it is used often, by all sorts of people: those who are sincerely kind, but also those who walk around with a collapsible soap box. So needy is the world of kindness, that in 1998, World Kindness Day was introduced. It falls on 13 November every year. There is also a Random Act of Kindness day, which falls on 17 February. September every year celebrates Good Neighbour Day and Day of Encouragement. The collective purpose of all these days, is to commemorate the power of kindness and the impact it has on others. And to remind us to be kind.

In wanting to write about kindness, I looked around to my usual arsenal of muses.

First stop. Herman Charles Bosman. What did Oom Schalk Lourens have to say about kindness. Turns out, not a lot. One of the many actors that portray the character described him as “doff,” full of antics and illogical reasoning, yet he is conscious that his behaviour will garner a laugh, and Oom Schalk is often left laughing at himself. In that perhaps lies his biggest kindness: reminding us not to take ourselves too seriously.

Next, I turned to my other muse: Music. I asked Google to point me in a direction and take me to songs of kindness. Christina Perry and Harry Styles popped up first, but both these artists fall outside of my frame of reference, so I was quite glad to stumble down the list, where I recognized a name. Simon & Garfunkel. Now there is a group I can identify with, and more so, when their song Bridge Over Troubled Water stepped up. Paul wrote the words, Art sang them. Originally, the lyrics were inspired by an old Southern Gospel song (Oh Mary don’t weep), but it was up to Aretha Franklin to take the song back to church, where it is still considered a secular gospel song.

Man, alive! If you want to give a song gospel wings, give it to a soul brother, or sister, or whatever one would call it today. Please be kind. I am not trying to step on anyone’s toes.

Ben E King is best known for the song Stand by me. He recorded the song in 1961. It turned out to be his most popular song and has been included into the 500 greatest songs, by Rolling Stone Magazine. Some of the lyrics derive from Psalm 46, where we are encouraged not to fear. The song was also a sweet tribute to his wife. (Colin take note! Sweet. Tribute. Wife.)

So it was, that over breakfast on Sunday 13 November, I mentioned to Colin that it was World Kindness Day, and what should we do about it. What did I have in mind, Colin wanted to know. After some thought, I mentioned a person known to us, that I felt needed kindness, but was not deserving of it. Glad you are the one that must discern that one, Colin quipped. So, then I will have a go at doing just that. (Thank you, Andy Williams, for the next lyrics: Where do I begin…)

As much as kindness is needed to bring out the best in a person, to propel them to a higher level of wanting to do remarkable things, where it will also fulfil that most basic need of being relevant, essential, and important, even if in a small way. This is where kindness is needed. But… the moment kindness is taken for granted, it becomes irresponsible and even damaging. At this point, kindness is no longer being deserved. As much as I go about trying to be kind, always, there are times that one simply lacks the capacity to be kind. Some time back, I was having a platonic, incidental conversation with somebody. At one point I started telling a story, in this case about one of our cats that passed at the very high age of 20 human years. My companion suddenly became very serious and said: please do not tell me this story if it is sad. I simply do not have the capacity for that right now. Wow. That shut me up. It also left me to ponder that yes, sometimes we simply do not have the capacity for something, and we need to be kind enough to ourselves to recognise that. Even kindness needs firm boundaries, and boundaries need to be protected with the conviction of a Ukrainian soldier on a Kiev street.

Gosh, what a mouth full from my soap box today. But you see, our journey would be wasted if we did not learn something about ourselves along the way. I have been very fortunate in my journey to have met some remarkable people. Some years ago, I worked in a Health Care environment. One of the hospitals I had to call on, was managed by such a remarkable person. I always hoped that he would take the time to invite me into his office. Because you see, 10 minutes in his company, and I would leave his office, a better version of me. Some people just have that ability, and they should be celebrated. Surely there must have been days when he simply did not have the capacity to spread his aura, but I am grateful for the days when he did. He celebrated his birthday on 11 November. I had made a huge mental note to wish him, and then promptly forgot, only to remember on World Kindness Day: 13 November. A couple of WhatsApp messages later, and I was reminded of this great man’s ability to bring out the best in mankind. A silent hero, who will never see the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

Our journey will culminate in Meraki Mountain. Just to remind you again that Meraki is a Greek word that translates into the act of love, creativity and soul. Maybe we can include a 4^th quality into this project: kindness. After all – according to Wayne Teasdale (a Catholic Monk, known for encouraging interfaith dialogue): Kindness is the highest form of intelligence.

So then, next time you are called to be kind, remember, it is a form of intelligence, and we all like to think that we are. At the same time, be intelligent enough to discern between Need and Deserve.

You are not a doormat.