Our oldest son started school in the year 2000. One week into the school year, there was a parent teacher meeting, and each parent had to sit on their child’s seat in class. There I was, crouching on a very small blue chair, behind a half-sized desk. It is a good thing that I was a lot younger then. Today, it would take 4 strong men or a forklift to raise me from such a low position. Seated next to me, was another mother, obviously, and that evening we struck up a chat, that grew into a life long friendship. She is very much a no nonsense type of person. Her favourite saying, when asked a question that the asker should know, or at least assume, the answer to is: Ask a stupid question! Is the Pope Catholic? Another person from my past, liked the expression: The things you see when you haven’t got a gun. In today’s society one has to be careful not to encourage or offend people with views on carrying arms. Personally, I support a gun free society, yet there are times that I can but observe: the things you see when you haven’t got a gun.

The farm we live on, is predominantly a sheep farm. I suppose there are those out there that recon that seeing it is a sheep farm, you could walk up to  the gate and buy yourself a sheep. It is a bit like being in the hospitality industry. People assume that surely, I must have a repertoire of cake recipes at the tips of my fingers. A conversation that starts with: So, what do you do for a living?, usually concludes with do you not have a nice chocolate cake recipe for me? And then: the look! People get so offended when I do not have a really nice, rich, moist chocolate cake recipe to share that requires no cocoa, eggs or butter. And no, I will not be baking you a dozen cupcakes for your son’s birthday, either. Then I do wonder. Do doctors have the same? Oh! You are a doctor? Do you mind feeling my pulse while we exchange pleasantries about the weather, and when done, can you have a look at this rash in my armpit? I seriously doubt it.

Colin gets it quite often. Oh? You are an Architect? I also wanted to be an architect, they would say. Then they minimize his expertise, because I suppose they can. You see, they needed a small add on to their house, and the architect wanted to charge them an arm and leg (according to them), and so they designed it themselves, proudly pointing to a rather interesting addition to a bit of the house. I know Colin so well. The moment his eye settles on the bit of crooked wall, tacky tiles, and the step up that is just that bit too high, I step in, and help out with a chocolate cake recipe after all. It helps if you can use a bit of Gordon Ramsey gesturing and Ainsley Harriott charm. Throw in a Nataniel stare, and Bob’s your uncle! It makes no difference what ingredients I rattle off, they will not bake the cake, as the intention was all along to trick me into making it. And you thought sheep were dumb!

And so, with sheep and stupid questions on my mind, I went in search of some sheep wisdom. First, I came across a quote one of my friends posted: We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended. Quite profound, but not very sheepy.

Next I found a verse from Proverbs: Look after your sheep and cattle as carefully as you can. I guess even in Biblical times, one had to keep an eye out for stock thieves. This took me to: It is better to be a lion for a day, than a sheep all your life. The king of the jungle had another offering: a lion never looses sleep over the opinions of sheep. And at this point, I thought that other than Baa Baa Black Sheep and Mary had a little lamb, surely there must be a sheep song out there that I can quote from. Google tells me that Pink Floyd recorded a song called: Sheep. Goody, I thought. Let me have a listen. When that did not go too well, I thought: maybe I should just read the lyrics. I did. And what went through my mind was: the things you see when you haven’t got a gun. What were Pink Floyd thinking? Did they not know that the Pope is Catholic?

Moving along from sheep, and Pink Floyd trying to sing about sheep, my mind turned to being a sheep all your life. What if you had no choice in the matter, and a sheep you are? Is it possible to make the most of the situation? Personally, I think I would make an excellent Angora Goat. I certainly have the hairstyle for it! Yet, being a sheep also means that you are surely protected, as the Lord is your Shepherd. And with such a good Guardian, what can go wrong? Other than a wolf lurking in the shadows, ready to ask a stupid question, such as: are you a goat or a sheep? Make up your mind. The difference between goats and sheep you ask? Not much, really. Goats have white hair all over their body and sheep have thick, mostly brown wool. (I am referring to your average sheep, and not Baa Baa Black Sheep.) A goat’s tail always points up, where as a sheep’s tail point down. As for my tail? Ask a stupid question. When out and about having fun, it points up and when adulting, it most certainly points down.

And should you come across a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Then all I can advise you is: The things you see when you haven’t got a gun.

Indeed, it is a sad day, when we live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended. Quite profound, but not very sheepy.