What does Queen Elizabeth and Freddy Mercury have in common, apart from both being Queens, that is? Actually, quite a bit. Both have had to navigate around complex relationships at some point. Freddy Mercury chose the song Bohemian Rhapsody as his platform to “come out” as gay. This was his “spill the beans” song. Poor old Queenie’s grandson had his own “come out and wash your dirty laundry” moment, which left the queen with that lovely comment of: “While some recollections may vary…”. Growing up in a democracy, I am not a monarchist in any way and will not willingly quote anything said by Queen Elizabeth, but her comment at the time so beautifully phrased a situation that I had for so long in my life yet battled to give a name to. And then she nailed it: while some recollections may vary.

Some recollections may vary because the different parties experienced them otherwise. Some others vary due to disease that destroys mental functions. I heard such a story this week. It was so touching, yet funny at the same time. I relay this story with permission from the person who shared it. It goes like this:

An elderly gentleman (and in this case he did comply with the definition of being a gentleman) from our small community, had reached the point where he could no longer stave off the ravages of Alzheimer’s, and had to be admitted to a special facility that could offer him better care. So off he went. For those he left behind, it was such a heart-breaking moment. Promises of “we will visit often” followed him out the gate. A few days after admission, his other half did keep her promise and did visit, and this is what transpired.

The manager of the care home arrived at the dining room one day and found all the other Alzheimer’s patients lined up at the door, clutching a folded white serviette. Old gentleman was at the head of the queue, clip board in hand. You see, old gentleman used to work as a pilot. His compromised mind on this morning convinced him that he would be piloting an aircraft to Zimbabwe, and his fellow patients were his passengers. Each passenger was noted down on the clipboard. Next step, each one was handed their boarding pass (the folded serviette) and they were queuing at the gate, ready to board their plane. While some recollections may vary……this pilot was ready to fly. His passengers saw nothing strange in the event, and they were ready to board. I have been asked to mention the reaction of the care workers. Realizing what was going down, they did not spoil the moment, but instead willingly stepped in as air hostesses, ensuring a safe and memorable flight…into the dining room for lunch. How beautiful is that? How kind of the staff to allow him to keep the dream alive?

Another little town within our driving range, is Gansbaai. Gansbaai is the epitome of keeping the dream alive. Driving there on Sunday, we were wondering what the purpose of this town could be. There is no direct road to take you there, and once there, no road leading out of town to take you somewhere exciting. Unless driving to Gansbaai is your sole purpose for the day, that is it. Aunty Google tells me that Gansbaai was only ever meant to be a nice little recreational fishing town. In 1939, however, a factory was erected to manufacture Vitamin A supplements, made from shark liver, that was needed by soldiers during the war. Vitamin A is needed for good eyesight, amongst other things. Lubricant, also needed by the war, was a byproduct of the process. By the end of the war, neither was in demand anymore and the plant closed. That would have meant the end of the town and its economy, until some businessmen stepped in, and today the town’s economy is driven by a large canning facility and the production of fish meal. Because man (and town,) cannot live on fish alone, they had to find bigger fish to fry. So, to answer the question: why would anybody want to drive out there? The answer is Great, and White, and Shark. Great white sharks attract the greatest number of tourists, after the Kruger Park, and Gansbaai is Great White Shark breeding ground. I suppose there is a moral to the story here. When the small fish are no longer attractive, set your sights on finding the big fish. No longer needed for their livers to give humans Vitamin A supplements, these great beasts today keep a town on the map, even if you must take a special detour to get there.

Another bit of trivia about the town:

In 1852 the Birkenhead was shipwrecked just off the coast. She carried Welsh, English and Scottish troops on their way to fight the Xhosa. The sinking of the ship was the first occurrence of where woman and children first protocol was established. Woman and children survived, on board horses swam ashore and became the ancestors of the feral herd that roamed Gansbaai. Not all the soldiers lived to tell the tale.

But no man can journey on an empty stomach. A study conducted by some clever people at some great university concluded that eating cake for breakfast is not fattening. Amazing that it took the learned people so long to realise something I have known all my life. Apparently, such a calorie rich meal early in the day, leaves one not hungry for the rest of the day and it helps to greatly reduce cravings. Imagine. Some poor person required a PhD to figure that one out. Once again, I suppose some recollection may vary. But, since I suffer none of those illusions, we started the day off on Saturday with coffee and cake at a newly discovered favourite coffee shop in Betty’s Bay. We met up with a friend there, had our well-balanced chocolate cake breakfast before heading up our mountain. We never fail to be amazed at people’s reaction the first time they step up onto the property. As much as you know it will be “nice”, somehow witnessing their first reactions is always priceless.

But, to get back to the other Queen, and specifically Freddy Mercury. Bohemian Rhapsody was Freddy’s confessional. It was about how different his life could have been, and how much happier he might have been, had he just been able to be himself, the whole of his life. (Aunty Googles’ words.) As for the naughty prince that is giving the Queen such a hard time: I suppose there is nothing easy about being a prince. The same can be said for the rest of us. Sometimes, some recollection may vary. No matter how hard we try to forget, explore or revisit them, the fact remains that situations and people often are not what we hoped they could be. Most of us have had to navigate around complex relationships at some point. I suppose the choice is ultimately ours. Will we expect the relationship to supply us with a supplement that will sustain for a short while, or do we set our sights higher, and aim for the shark cage dive experience? Either way, recollections will vary.

I suppose you can’t have your cake and eat it.