A.A. Milne, created the characters of Winnie the Pooh, and his friends. One of these many friends included Eeyore. In a funny sort of way, Eeyore is my best character. Eeyore is not a happy chap at the best of times. Some people even believe that Eeyore suffered from depression and dysthymia disorder. This was evident in his low mood, his sarcastic and negative criticisms, and his general distaste for social situations. One of my best explanations, according to the author as to why Eeyore is so melancholy, is because he lost his tail. This was quite a blow to him because you see, he was attached to his tail.

Bears are funny creatures. There is Winnie. Then there is also Paddington. Paddington is that ever so cute bear that gave Queen Elizabeth her moment of fame, when they sat down to Marmalade sandwiches and tea at some very important party. Paddington was created by Michael Bond. The original Bond, not the James version. Not to forget Baloo! Baloo is a Sloth Bear. He is kind and generous and takes it on himself to teach Mowgli the Law of the Jungle. There is also Ted and Rupert the Bear. Rupert became famous in a comic strip.

My children also grew up with Bear Stories. Not quite the bears mentioned above. I have always had a bit of a febrile imagination. The Bears that my children grew up with, could only be found in my head. These bears resulted in hours of laughter, many more hours of guessing what they would get up to next. These Bears became part of us. We would talk about them as if they were right there, sitting in our company. Even today, many a conversation in our family would be to guess what the Bears would do or say in a specific situation. Some of my readers, who received my very first writings in their inbox, are familiar with the two rascals. When I first started writing their stories, I was at a loss of where to start. So, I just started anywhere. It was neither the beginning, and we have yet to reach the end. For some time now, the Bears have been asked to move into their spot on my Website. Turns out, it was easier said than done. So, while they are still trying to decide on their future, I thought I would share one of my favourite stories with you. It is the story of how Podgy got Chicken Pecks. And it goes like this:

Podgy gets Chicken Pecks

In one of the previous stories, we were told about Podgy’s house, where he lives with his Dad and his new Mom. We know from that story that the family has neighbours who have a chicken coup. In the coup they have a big red rooster, and five little white hens. Sometimes there are lots of little yellow chicks as well. Far too many to count. Podgy is not too sure about what happens to all the little chicks. Sometimes, when Podgy is up the tree, he can smell chicken roasting in the neighbor’s oven. It smells really yummy. Sometimes the neighbour gives Podgy a chicken drumstick to eat. Bears like drumsticks. Podgy also likes boiled eggs. Sometimes the neighbours give him a boiled egg to eat. One time, Podgy found a BB bullet in the drumstick. He is not sure how it got there.

But I think I know how it happened. I will tell you if you promise not to say anything to Podgy.

One year, Podgy got a BB gun for one of his birthdays. Why do I say ONE of his birthdays? Well, you see, a bear has more than one birthday. For example, a bear will celebrate his birthday on the day he became part of his family. So, if a bear was bought on 3 April, his birthday will always be on 3 April, every year. If his Dad has a birthday on 5 November, then the bear will also have a birthday on 5 November. If the bear’s Dad, then marries a Mom (as what happened with Podgy) and the Mom has a birthday on 10 August, then the bear will also have a birthday on 10 August. No matter whose birthday it is, the bear gets to open all the presents. If he likes the present, he keeps it, but if it is something useless like a pink lipstick or a measuring jug, the bear will give the present to his Mom or Dad, who ever happens to be having a birthday on the day. Bears like to give their Mom or Dad a present. Usually, it is an empty sweetie wrapper, or an empty bottle of cool drink. It is not that they are being mean, it is just that bears do not have much self-control between the period when the gift is bought and given. Often by the time the parent gets the present, it has been wrapped and rewrapped a few times. A present from a bear always has lots of sticky tape on it.

And, so, one of his birthdays, Podgy was given a BB gun. A BB gun is like a pretend gun. It is made of plastic, and it gets loaded up with small plastic balls, instead of real bullets. Real guns are big and heavy, and they have real bullets that make a big noise when they are used. Podgy knows of a really old Teddy that got shot at once with a real bullet, and there was stuffing all over the place and the Teddy’s Mom was unable to fix him, and he ended up in a dustbin. That poor Teddy’s Dad did get a big telling off from his Mom, and next time he rather used a round painted target to practice on. The telling off was much louder than the gun shot. Podgy doesn’t like real guns. They make Moms angry, and an angry Mom is much worse than a hungry bear. Like real bears, when they come out of hibernation, and they are real hungry. Podgy once saw such a bear on TV. That bear ate a whole seal in one gulp, without first checking if the seal was real, or a teddy seal.

Now back to the chickens. The chicken pen is situated in a shady corner of the neighbors’ yard. There is a big tree next to the chicken coup and Podgy likes to sit in this tree and tease the chickens. How would a bear tease chickens? Well, firstly the bear can blow his cheeks up and stick his tongue out. Or he can point his bottom at the chickens and make pretend farts. Or he can wave his bottom at the chickens while singing Nah-nene-nah-nah, all the time shaking his bushy tail around.

Podgy also like to shoot mealie pips at the chickens. Turns out that a mealie pip is exactly the same size as a BB gun plastic bullet. It is also the same colour: yellow. The chickens were not happy with Podgy. They did not like the teasing too much. Having mealie pips shot at them was OK, because mealie pips are yummy if you are a chicken, but sometimes Podgy would use the little plastic bullets, and the chickens not knowing the difference, would swallow the bullets and either get tummy ache, or have a plastic ball stuck in their thighs.

One day, something really bad happened. Whilst shaking his bushy tail at the rooster, Podgy lost his balance and fell out of the tree, landing right in the chicken coup. The chickens took revenge, and it was not good. By the time Podgy got taken out of the coup, not only was he covered in chicken poop, but he was also covered in chicken pecks. His new Mom gave him a serious telling off (like the bear on TV, but it is a little worse when you are the poor bear caught in the act of being naughty) and he got put into the washing machine and washed. The chicken pecks took a while to go away, and the doctor gave Podgy a note saying he could not go to school or play with any of his friends until such time that all the spots had gone away. Podgy also lost one of his button eyes in the chicken coup, and long after he was rescued, the chickens were still pecking away at his lost eye.

Bears like it when they can stay away from school and are always looking for a tummy ache or stubbed toe, so they need not go to school. But chicken pecks are serious. Nobody wants chicken pecks.

Did Podgy learn his lesson? No. He did not. Bears do not have a good memory, and no sooner had he recovered, or Podgy and his BB gun were back in the tree.

Unlike chicken pox, that is a sickness Moms and Dads get, a bear can get chicken pecks more than once. So far, Podgy has had it at least 7 times. Piggy also got chicken pecks once when he was visiting Podgy’s house.